And so the journey begins. . .

My name is Kim. I'm a 34 year old stay-at-home mom to two beautiful little girls (Audrey, 4 1/2 and Madelyn, 2). I have a wonderful husband, Derek, and I live a pretty happy life. Can't really complain about much. At least, I'm trying not to. :) I'm not one for making "New Year's Resolutions", but I have committed recently to making a change for life. What better way to document my efforts than to jump on the blog train and make myself accountable to the whole wide internet world?!

My life has changed quite a bit over the last decade. I truly believe I've made some of the biggest changes within and continue to work on that pretty fiercely. I'm no where near perfect, but each day is a new day to do a little better. I like myself and the person I am. I try not to complain too much and be grateful for all that I have. And, I do believe that God has truly blessed me. I've been through my share of heartache, heartbreak, and disappointments (that I may share with you one day), but God has carried me through it all. I'm learning to trust Him more day by day.

So, what exactly is it I want to change about myself? I'd say one of my worst qualities is lack of "follow through". I have lots of ideas, desires, and intentions - but I'm not the best at completing such tasks. I'm one of those that loves to start things...it's the finishing part that gets me every time. SO, I'm here today to tell the world, I'm working on that - tomorrow. :) Seriously though, I'm taking it one task at a time. Granted there are some things that can never be finished. Like laundry - can you ever really finish the laundry? Do the clothes that you're currently wearing qualify as clean once you put them on? Anyway, you get my point. I want to stop procrastinating and get things done!

Commitment, like follow through, is another hurtle in my life. I don't mean commitment as in relationships, but the "sticking to it" kind of commitment. Consistency. Like going to the gym (see below), staying organized, not skipping class (or Bible study)... those kinds of things. I've been trying to teach Audrey about commitment. She's been kinda blah about her dance class lately and not wanting to go. We've talked about sticking it out to the end of the season and the importance of not giving up. Prime example - she has been asking for weeks to go to gymnastics. We had the opportunity to go to a place this week. She just sat there the first 15 minutes not wanting to participate, just watch. At the break she came to me in tears begging to go home. We had a heart-to-heart about holding on to the end. I told her to just make it to the end of class, give it a good try, and then we could talk. Turns out, she jumped in and loved it! When we got in the car she said, "I love gymnastics. I want to do it for the rest of my life." That's the kind of commitment I'm looking for. And, the best way for me to teach it is to live it.

One of the greatest obstacles in my life has been my health and weight. I come from a long line of unhealthy individuals - by choice. My parents are overweight and don't take the best care of themselves (sorry Mom and Dad if you're reading this!). Growing up we were never really taught to eat healthy - there was a lot of junk in the house. Exercise came in the form of sports that we participated in, nothing more. So what happened when I grew up and didn't participate in physical activities anymore? I got fat. Plain and simple. I eat what I want and don't exercise. That's how weight gain works. This started for me in college, but got worse in my early to mid 20's. I admit I had some crappy things happen in my life that made me turn to food for comfort. There was one point about 6 or 7 years ago that I finally did lose quite a bit of weight, but I don't recommend the method. Divorce. I was physically sick every day for months. Not a good way to lose weight, but it happened. I did eventually wise up and start walking a few miles a day to tone up - especially since I had nothing else to do with my time but concentrate on ME. I have to admit that I started liking the responses I was getting. I was looking a little hot if I do say so myself! I was 27 and feeling great!

So, how did I gain back all the weight? I fell in love, got married, got pregnant (twice), and got comfortable. I wouldn't trade my life for anything, but I would trade my body in for a new one if given the chance. Don't know why it has taken me so darn long to get myself motivated enough to actually do something. Guess I was always looking for the easy way out. But, if there's one thing I've learned in this life - if it's easy, there's a catch! As we like to say in the colorguard world, "no one said it would be easy, that just said it would worth it."

I officially started my weight loss challenge last week. I actually joined the gym in November and went 2-3 times a week for over a month with no results. I got sucked into the "I don't have time" phase during the holidays. Then our house got hit with the stomach bug. But, this time I'm actually ready. I went to the gym 4 times last week (twice already this week) and really feeling good. I even lost 4 pounds!! Funny story though - the first time I weighed I actually thought that either 1) I don't know how to work the scale or 2) the scale is broken. I told my husband with all sincerity that this was the case. After all, it read 5 pounds more than our home scales (that have a crack down the middle and the readings vary by 5 to 10 pounds every time you get on them) and the number was 9 pounds heavier than the doctor's scales read 9 months ago. Did I seriously gain a pound a month over the last 9 months? Yep, apparently. How scary is that?

So, here's my first official blog entry. I'm not quite ready to post my actual weight for the whole world to see, but I promise I will one day - probably after I've lost it all. :) But, I will post my challenges and progress along the way. Hope you enjoy the ride!