A Mother's Heart

I know I've already posted once tonight, but I just had some thoughts I wanted to share.  I've had several special days with the girls lately.  It's made me realize just how much I took my time for granted when I was staying at home full time.  Now that I don't have that luxury, I have to savor my time a little more.  The girls have also enjoyed their extra time together over the holidays.  They've gotten along really well and played together a lot.  They're at such a precious age and I want to just eat them up!

Maddie's entrance into the "3's" has been a little challenging, but she is so stinkin' cute.  I wish I could convey the level of cuteness to you through this blog.  LOL  Derek & I have had to hide our faces through chuckles during some disciplinary actions lately.  She's seeing how far she can push, but she does it with such comedic animation. And, what an imagination she has!  I'm also happy to report that she has successfully gone to bed without crying or fussing 3 nights in a row.  She has also slept in her bed until "the sun comes up" two mornings.  Progress!

Audrey is growing up before my very eyes.  She has such a sweet soul.  I love to just sit and converse with her.  Bedtime is a precious time for us.  She really seems to open up and talk to me.  I like that she asks me if things are ok to say if she isn't sure.  Today she said, "This girl in class had a shirt on that said 'Girls have more fun'. Then, this boy said, 'Akward'.  Is that ok to say?"  I'm proud she listens to me.  We talked about what's ok to say and not over a year ago.  And, she has stayed true to our conversation, asking me when she isn't sure about something.

Ok, so another thought that I'm sure will be a topic of many posts in the new year... homeschooling.  It has been weighing heavily on my heart since June and hasn't really left.  Days like today just fuel the fire.  I hate the thought of missing so many hours of their lives every day.  Not only that, I'm thinking about how many of those hours they are subjected to non-academic, non-healthy (for lack of a better word) crap.  :(  Any time I've been to Audrey's kindergarten class it has been chaos.  Granted, I'm usually there when they're off schedule and doing something fun.  But, the kids don't listen at all!  How can my child, who is the quiet one, possibly be learning enough?  How can she not be consistently looked over for attention going to the ill behaved ones?  My fears, too, is that she is learning things from the other kids that we're not ready for.  I want her to be a kid for as long as she can.  I want to take a bigger part in her education.  No, I'm not a "qualified" teacher.  But, I'm not stupid.  I have a college education, just not a degree.  There are so many wonderful resources out there.  I'd really like to enroll her in a christian home school academy where she would go a couple of days a week (and curriculum is provided).  We can supplement at home and get involved with a local coop.

This may just be my own selfish desires, but I find myself surrounded by so many people lately that are successful home school parents.  Their kids are the most respectful, mature, intelligent kids around.  Their family units are so close.  I want that.  Are all of these people being brought into my life to guide me in that direction?  Or am I just reading too much into it?  I'm currently reading The Heart of Homeschooling.  I will continue to educate myself in the upcoming months and pray God's will be done in our family.  Please pray for us, as well.


  1. NOT at all selfish!!! Never think that. All mothers only want what is best for their child and remember only you know what that is. Never let anyone get you down just because they do not agree on your parenting choices. With that being said, I 100% agree with your reasons and will support you through prayer and a listening ear. Give this to God all the way and he will guide you on what the right choice is for your family. Hugs!

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