There are those that love the spotlight and others that don't. I find that every day with my girls. I have one that would rather sit back and take it all in - never wanting to be seen. While the other jumps in head first to see what kind of laughs she can get.
So, I've been thinking about my own light. I'd say for the most part, I've been a spot light kinda girl. I like performing - rather it be dance, colorguard, singing, etc. I use to really like to be the life of the party. But, not so much any more. I'd rather sit back and watch - have an intimate conversation and not be the center of attention. I've played many leadership roles in my 30-something years, but I'm learning it's nice to sit on the sidelines and watch every once in a while. Not to say that I don't still have opportunities that come my way to take the lead. However, I'm seeing that with life there are many seasons. There's a time to learn and a time to teach. I think the process is on going. And, I'm in a new season.
God has humbled me many times. He sometimes has to speak loudly and frequently - I'm a little hard of hearing. He has also shown me that I am still capable of learning and that He will use me where HE sees fit, not necessarily where I want to be.
Now, let me preface these next thoughts by saying that I in no way want to seek credit in any talent I may *think* I possess. ;) God gives and God takes away. God uses our talents for His glory and when we abuse that, I think He can and will put them back where they came from, so to speak. But, I also know that God wants to give us the desires of our own hearts. With all that being said, I want to share with you some exciting stuff! =) And, I want to thank God for the opportunity, no matter how short or long the time I am given on this project is.
Several years ago I was part of a women's quartet at my church in TN. I honestly don't remember how we formed our group because we didn't know each other that well. We were all in choir together, knew each of us had some knowledge of music & voice, and had a desire to sing more. Never did I think such a bond would be formed. Aside from all the music we made, I know for me, we created lasting friendships that I will never, ever forget. God worked through us, if for no one else, for the 4 of us. Yes, we sang several concerts, sang at different churches, and gathered once a week to rehearse the music. But, had it not been for those 3 ladies, I would have really struggled through some difficult times. They ended up being the ones I turned to when I didn't know where else to go. We all went through very similar situations at different times and were able to help each when it was our time to go through the valley. I, to this day, love those 3 women! We sang together for roughly 3 years, but eventually we all went separate ways because of life changes (and moves). I miss them so much! I have not felt another bond like that since.
Now fast forward to my new life in GA. We started out at a very small church (similar to all the churches I grew up in) that we loved for two years. But, with lack of child care, there were very few opportunities for us to attend classes or Bible studies. I called a local church that I passed every day taking Audrey to PreK. I saw they had a Women's Bible Study, so I was curious if child care was provided. To my surprise, it was and I jumped on board immediately. The first time I went to the study, a sweet older lady asked me to join her. She has grown to be such a cherished friend. Anyway, they opened up the study with praise and worship. Five ladies got on stage and sang the most beautiful harmonies I had ever heard. And, you could just tell they were truly singing for the Lord. I got a little teary eyed watching and listening to them that first day. I had to call each of "my girls" to tell them how much they reminded me of our quartet days and how much I missed them.
I continued going back week after week and was blessed each and every time I heard them sing. It really made me miss the old singing days with the girls. I'd be lying if I didn't say there was a longing within me to be up there with them! Within a few months, God very clearly showed us it was time to move to a new church. He had already been paving the way to First Redeemer starting with that first day at the Beth Moore Bible Study. We have been at our new church for a year now. God has opened up so many doors for us there. The girls have learned so much and look forward to going every day.
I personally have never been a member of such a large church. I was afraid I'd get lost in the crowd. But, I have been pleasantly surprised at how wrong I was. And, back to that humbling thing I talked about earlier in the post. ;) Being part of small churches, I was given many opportunities to sing solos and be a big part of the music ministry. I think I took a lot of those things for granted. God has placed me in an amazing music program where the talent is truly unbelievable! He has shown me just how small I am, while placing me exactly where I need to be and allowing me to grow in spirit. But, He is also loving and gracious.
A couple of months after joining the church & choir, I auditioned for the Praise Team. (First time I've ever had to audition for a church thing. That was a lesson in and of itself!) Shew. I made it. I was a little intimidated at first, but have really learned a lot singing with such great talent! The end of last year I was honored to be asked to audition for a part in the Christmas program - a small ensemble for one song. It worked out and the program went great! In that process, I got to work with a wonderful lady who is also the leader of the women's quintet from our Bible Study that I so adore. After our first rehearsal, she gave me the sweetest compliment ever --- she asked me to fill in for one of her girls in the group!! After I picked my jaw off the floor, I graciously accepted. One of their members was having a baby and they had been praying and looking for someone to temporarily take her place. After hearing my voice, she thought that I would blend great with them. I started singing with them this month and it has been the BEST time! Music aside, these ladies are amazing! They are the most precious, loving, Christian ladies ever. The time we spend "rehearsing" is filled with stories, laughter, music, and worship. It's been wonderful! Sunday was my first time singing with them for the worship service (we do the Bible Study service on Thursdays) and it was incredible.
God has shown me, I don't have to be the "it" girl. I don't have to have all the solos or be in the spotlight. The gift He has given me is a blending voice. And, as long as I keep the focus on Him and less of me & the music, He will use me. I am so guilty of wanting more and more, but I don't need it. God certainly knew the desires of my heart and mercifully obliged! I'm not sure how long I will have with the ladies, but I'm cherishing every moment. To be completely honest, I wish it wasn't temporary (that more and more attitude again), but I know God has a plan for me when it's all said and done. He's still teaching me. I'm seeking His will and that is the focus. I'm just grateful for what He has allowed me to do and anxious to see what He will have me do in the future.
Miscarriage - The Truth
I've had some conversations with new friends recently and read some Facebook statuses & blogs lately that got me thinking about a different time in my life. I rarely talk or think about the past any more. But, I think sometimes others can benefit from our experiences. There are some things that need never be forgotten.
For generations, miscarriage was a taboo thing to discuss. It hurts my heart to think of any woman going through such an ordeal without anyone to talk to. Thankfully in this day and age, though it may be awkward to some, talking openly about these situations can be therapeutic. I took comfort in hearing from others that had experienced the same as I had. I remember after my first miscarriage, I was almost embarrassed to talk about it. I just didn't know what to say. It was especially awkward when someone didn't know and asked how the baby was doing. Honestly, there's no right answer, no perfect response. People generally offer up heart felt condolences, while others tend to brush it off with "Oh, you're young. You have plenty of time to have a baby." It may seem insensitive, but I think this is just some people's lack of understanding.
My first pregnancy was from my first marriage. I had just turned 24, my father-in-law had just suddenly passed away, and I found out I was pregnant. It was bitter sweet. But, I was so excited. I always wanted to be a mom. I hadn't felt very well and was super tired. I had no idea what doctor to go to, so I turned to a friend who had recently had a baby. She suggested a doctor in Knoxville, who happened to be a high risk perinatal doctor. It was no accident! The first doctor appointment went well. I got my "welcome bag" with all the pamphlets, magazines, samples, vitamins, etc. The exciting stuff! :) After a few weeks, I started feeling a little better and my next appointment went well, but they were telling me I wasn't as far along as they originally thought. No major concerns, but I was certain of my cycle and a little puzzled at what I considered a "set back". Ya know, every single day and week counts to a pregnant woman, right?!
Then came Christmas Eve. I was about 10 weeks along and feeling "off". I had some light spotting, so I was just taking it easy. We had our annual Christmas Eve open house - and I remember wearing flannel pajamas the whole time. (Funny the things we remember.) Anyway, Christmas day (which was on a Saturday), I was feeling a little worse and bleeding a little more. My family and I decided we should take a trip to the ER. Not exactly how I imagined spending Christmas! They hooked me up to an IV, filled my bladder (the worst part!), and gave me an ultrasound. The baby had a faint heartbeat and was only measuring about 6 weeks. They sent me home with instructions to call my OB Monday morning. Monday, they told me there was really nothing they could do. It was just a matter of time. Tuesday I started having severe cramps and a lot of pain in my lower back. A few hours later, thinking I needed to go to the bathroom, I actually had a contraction and passed the baby.
There was this brief moment of panic. I didn't know what to do. The next thing I'm going to say, I've never told before. It breaks my heart to say it. It may seem funny to some. It may be appalling to others. But, I truly panicked. My first reflex was.... to flush. There, I said it. That is what I did. I'm sure it happens every day to women who do not even know they are pregnant. But, I did. For a brief moment, I saw this tiny being, about the size of my thumb nail. And, in my moment of panic, it was gone. Tears are streaming down my face as I write this. I have never told anyone - except the nurse when I called her on the phone. I have always felt so guilty. I know there is nothing that could have been done. The doctors office would have done the same. I've always thought, if I could have taken the baby to the office with me, they could have run tests on him (I was convinced it was a boy) to see what was wrong. We never got that chance.
One of the hardest parts was sitting in the waiting room of the OB's office for my follow up appointment. Sitting there in a room full of pregnant ladies with an empty belly, was excruciating. I was very sad, for a long time.
About a year and a half later, I found out I was pregnant again. And, boy was I sick! I was nauseous - a lot. I had to pull over on the side of the road more than once! I definitely thought this was a good thing! The first appointment went well, but my "keeping it real" doctor always reminded me how high my chances of miscarrying again were. I was pregnant for several weeks. I even moved into some maternity clothes. I had a couple of ultrasounds that helped ease the nerves a bit, though once again the baby was measuring behind what it should have been. I went in for a regular check up. They were having a hard time finding the heartbeat, so they said I could get an ultrasound. We were in there for a while and the ultrasound tech left. I knew something was wrong. When the doctor came in, my heart sank. He reviewed the u/s and then delivered the news. There was no heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing. Although I should have been at least 12 weeks, the baby was only measuring about 9. Since the baby was too big to pass on its own, I had to schedule a D&C. This was on a Friday and they couldn't get me in until Tuesday.
I think that weekend messed with me the most. I just kept thinking about the life inside me that no longer lived. It was such a difficult time. But, I will say that my doctor was so wonderful. I didn't realize how big of a deal a D&C was. I just thought you went to the doctor's office and it was a simple procedure. I was wrong! It was an outpatient procedure in the hospital. I was under full anesthesia. I remember lying on the table and my doctor came in. He hugged me, told me how sorry he was that he had to do this, and he rubbed my face until I went to sleep. When I woke up, it was over. There was no more baby... again. I felt so empty.
A few weeks later we received the test results from the baby. The baby had a chromosome disorder called Trisomy 18 or Edward Syndrome. The baby would not have survived long. Additionally, it was discovered that I had an autoimmune disease called Antiphospholipid Syndrome (say that fast 4 times). What exactly does that mean, you ask? That my body reacts to a baby as if it were bacteria. It forms blood clots in the placenta as a defense mechanism to keep any nutrients from getting to the baby. (This is why the babies always measured smaller than they should have.) The good news? It was treatable. I would have to take daily injections of a blood thinner called Lovenox when I got pregnant again. That was promising. But, it would be 3 more years and a new husband before I'd get the chance to find out. ;)
Honestly, I had a more difficult time with the second loss than the first. I don't know if it was because I was further along. Or, just a combination of two losses. I was depressed. I had lost two babies... and was also losing my husband.
Fast forward about 3 years....
Baby #3.... a little different. No real closure. I was newly remarried - about 5 months. I took a couple of tests - they were positive. By this time, I really knew my body. I knew what it felt like to be pregnant. The tests were all positive, but by the time I got to the doctor I was no longer pregnant. I never knew exactly when it happened. The doctor couldn't 100% confirm it, but agreed he thought it was another miscarriage and added it to my ever growing file.
I got pregnant (#4) the very next cycle. It's hard to get excited after so many losses. At one of my early visits, my doctor thought I would miscarry again. I loved the man, but he was, by nature, a pessimist. The three doctors at this practice were very different. Dr. Roussis was the straight to the point, keeping it real, worse case scenario guy. Dr. Stephens was the sweet, nurturing, we're going to make this work kinda guy. And, Dr. Bruner, was the laid back, no big deal man. Anyway, Derek & I cried the whole way home because we thought this was the beginning of the end, again. We prayed. We cried. We prayed. What could we do? I took my shots. Tried to keep my vitamins down. And, waited. Week after week we took as one step closer. The journey wasn't always easy. There was about 20 weeks of 24/7 morning sickness, high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, daily injections, sleep apnea, and loss of amniotic fluid. I had plenty of "woe is me" moments as I stood there some mornings unable to find an unbruised belly to poke another needle in. But, I was truly grateful for every single day.
At my 34 week appointment, I was told "you're having your baby today"!! I freaked out. This was 6 weeks too early! Somehow, all of my amniotic fluid was absorbed and GONE. Not only that, she was breach and they could not try to turn her without fluid. Since I had just given myself the blood thinner, we had to wait 12 hours for it to leave my system so they could operate. (I'll share the whole birth story another day.) The end resulted in a beautiful, healthy 5.8 pound baby girl... that the doctors tell me will be about 5 ft 10 in when she stops growing! And, a remarkable 2 years and 5 months later, another beautiful 7 lb 10 oz baby girl was born by scheduled c-section at 38 weeks.
I am grateful for every baby, both born and unborn. I don't know why God chose me to carry those babies for a short time. I don't know why He gave me Audrey & Maddie. But, He did. I truly believe that I will one day meet my angels face to face. Until then, I will cherish every day with my girls on this earth. They are a true gift from God.
Thanks for allowing me to share my story with you.
For generations, miscarriage was a taboo thing to discuss. It hurts my heart to think of any woman going through such an ordeal without anyone to talk to. Thankfully in this day and age, though it may be awkward to some, talking openly about these situations can be therapeutic. I took comfort in hearing from others that had experienced the same as I had. I remember after my first miscarriage, I was almost embarrassed to talk about it. I just didn't know what to say. It was especially awkward when someone didn't know and asked how the baby was doing. Honestly, there's no right answer, no perfect response. People generally offer up heart felt condolences, while others tend to brush it off with "Oh, you're young. You have plenty of time to have a baby." It may seem insensitive, but I think this is just some people's lack of understanding.
My first pregnancy was from my first marriage. I had just turned 24, my father-in-law had just suddenly passed away, and I found out I was pregnant. It was bitter sweet. But, I was so excited. I always wanted to be a mom. I hadn't felt very well and was super tired. I had no idea what doctor to go to, so I turned to a friend who had recently had a baby. She suggested a doctor in Knoxville, who happened to be a high risk perinatal doctor. It was no accident! The first doctor appointment went well. I got my "welcome bag" with all the pamphlets, magazines, samples, vitamins, etc. The exciting stuff! :) After a few weeks, I started feeling a little better and my next appointment went well, but they were telling me I wasn't as far along as they originally thought. No major concerns, but I was certain of my cycle and a little puzzled at what I considered a "set back". Ya know, every single day and week counts to a pregnant woman, right?!
Then came Christmas Eve. I was about 10 weeks along and feeling "off". I had some light spotting, so I was just taking it easy. We had our annual Christmas Eve open house - and I remember wearing flannel pajamas the whole time. (Funny the things we remember.) Anyway, Christmas day (which was on a Saturday), I was feeling a little worse and bleeding a little more. My family and I decided we should take a trip to the ER. Not exactly how I imagined spending Christmas! They hooked me up to an IV, filled my bladder (the worst part!), and gave me an ultrasound. The baby had a faint heartbeat and was only measuring about 6 weeks. They sent me home with instructions to call my OB Monday morning. Monday, they told me there was really nothing they could do. It was just a matter of time. Tuesday I started having severe cramps and a lot of pain in my lower back. A few hours later, thinking I needed to go to the bathroom, I actually had a contraction and passed the baby.
There was this brief moment of panic. I didn't know what to do. The next thing I'm going to say, I've never told before. It breaks my heart to say it. It may seem funny to some. It may be appalling to others. But, I truly panicked. My first reflex was.... to flush. There, I said it. That is what I did. I'm sure it happens every day to women who do not even know they are pregnant. But, I did. For a brief moment, I saw this tiny being, about the size of my thumb nail. And, in my moment of panic, it was gone. Tears are streaming down my face as I write this. I have never told anyone - except the nurse when I called her on the phone. I have always felt so guilty. I know there is nothing that could have been done. The doctors office would have done the same. I've always thought, if I could have taken the baby to the office with me, they could have run tests on him (I was convinced it was a boy) to see what was wrong. We never got that chance.
One of the hardest parts was sitting in the waiting room of the OB's office for my follow up appointment. Sitting there in a room full of pregnant ladies with an empty belly, was excruciating. I was very sad, for a long time.
About a year and a half later, I found out I was pregnant again. And, boy was I sick! I was nauseous - a lot. I had to pull over on the side of the road more than once! I definitely thought this was a good thing! The first appointment went well, but my "keeping it real" doctor always reminded me how high my chances of miscarrying again were. I was pregnant for several weeks. I even moved into some maternity clothes. I had a couple of ultrasounds that helped ease the nerves a bit, though once again the baby was measuring behind what it should have been. I went in for a regular check up. They were having a hard time finding the heartbeat, so they said I could get an ultrasound. We were in there for a while and the ultrasound tech left. I knew something was wrong. When the doctor came in, my heart sank. He reviewed the u/s and then delivered the news. There was no heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing. Although I should have been at least 12 weeks, the baby was only measuring about 9. Since the baby was too big to pass on its own, I had to schedule a D&C. This was on a Friday and they couldn't get me in until Tuesday.
I think that weekend messed with me the most. I just kept thinking about the life inside me that no longer lived. It was such a difficult time. But, I will say that my doctor was so wonderful. I didn't realize how big of a deal a D&C was. I just thought you went to the doctor's office and it was a simple procedure. I was wrong! It was an outpatient procedure in the hospital. I was under full anesthesia. I remember lying on the table and my doctor came in. He hugged me, told me how sorry he was that he had to do this, and he rubbed my face until I went to sleep. When I woke up, it was over. There was no more baby... again. I felt so empty.
A few weeks later we received the test results from the baby. The baby had a chromosome disorder called Trisomy 18 or Edward Syndrome. The baby would not have survived long. Additionally, it was discovered that I had an autoimmune disease called Antiphospholipid Syndrome (say that fast 4 times). What exactly does that mean, you ask? That my body reacts to a baby as if it were bacteria. It forms blood clots in the placenta as a defense mechanism to keep any nutrients from getting to the baby. (This is why the babies always measured smaller than they should have.) The good news? It was treatable. I would have to take daily injections of a blood thinner called Lovenox when I got pregnant again. That was promising. But, it would be 3 more years and a new husband before I'd get the chance to find out. ;)
Honestly, I had a more difficult time with the second loss than the first. I don't know if it was because I was further along. Or, just a combination of two losses. I was depressed. I had lost two babies... and was also losing my husband.
Fast forward about 3 years....
Baby #3.... a little different. No real closure. I was newly remarried - about 5 months. I took a couple of tests - they were positive. By this time, I really knew my body. I knew what it felt like to be pregnant. The tests were all positive, but by the time I got to the doctor I was no longer pregnant. I never knew exactly when it happened. The doctor couldn't 100% confirm it, but agreed he thought it was another miscarriage and added it to my ever growing file.
I got pregnant (#4) the very next cycle. It's hard to get excited after so many losses. At one of my early visits, my doctor thought I would miscarry again. I loved the man, but he was, by nature, a pessimist. The three doctors at this practice were very different. Dr. Roussis was the straight to the point, keeping it real, worse case scenario guy. Dr. Stephens was the sweet, nurturing, we're going to make this work kinda guy. And, Dr. Bruner, was the laid back, no big deal man. Anyway, Derek & I cried the whole way home because we thought this was the beginning of the end, again. We prayed. We cried. We prayed. What could we do? I took my shots. Tried to keep my vitamins down. And, waited. Week after week we took as one step closer. The journey wasn't always easy. There was about 20 weeks of 24/7 morning sickness, high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, daily injections, sleep apnea, and loss of amniotic fluid. I had plenty of "woe is me" moments as I stood there some mornings unable to find an unbruised belly to poke another needle in. But, I was truly grateful for every single day.
At my 34 week appointment, I was told "you're having your baby today"!! I freaked out. This was 6 weeks too early! Somehow, all of my amniotic fluid was absorbed and GONE. Not only that, she was breach and they could not try to turn her without fluid. Since I had just given myself the blood thinner, we had to wait 12 hours for it to leave my system so they could operate. (I'll share the whole birth story another day.) The end resulted in a beautiful, healthy 5.8 pound baby girl... that the doctors tell me will be about 5 ft 10 in when she stops growing! And, a remarkable 2 years and 5 months later, another beautiful 7 lb 10 oz baby girl was born by scheduled c-section at 38 weeks.
I am grateful for every baby, both born and unborn. I don't know why God chose me to carry those babies for a short time. I don't know why He gave me Audrey & Maddie. But, He did. I truly believe that I will one day meet my angels face to face. Until then, I will cherish every day with my girls on this earth. They are a true gift from God.
Thanks for allowing me to share my story with you.
Give Away!!
My sweet friend, Candace, at His Mercy is New is giving away some great books!
Be sure to stop by and follow her.
Project Life Week 4
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| 1/18 - After bath "helper' of the laundry folding. |
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| 1/23 - Finally got a picture of the girls in their new dresses. |
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| 1/19 - We found a super cool book at the library that showed acrobats making all the letters of the alphabet with their bodies. Here is Daddy & Audrey making a "P". |
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| 1/20 - My nook. This is where I curl up at night after the girls go to bed while D & I watch TV and I enjoy all those wonderful blogs. ;) |
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| 1/21 - When D's parents moved the rest of their things from TN to GA, they found his original Star Wars toys. He loved sharing them with the girls. Audrey especially enjoyed them. |
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| 1/22 - One of my favorite "pretties". My Longaberger cabinet with my favorite mini collectible baskets. |
Overextended. Blessed. Frumpy. Excited. Disappointed. Loved. Refreshed.
Overextended. Blessed. Frumpy. Excited. Disappointed. Loved. Refreshed.
Am I a crazy mess or what?! I've been a roller coaster of emotions this week. I've sat down to blog a couple of times this week and just didn't know where to start. Nothing specifically has happened, just a hodge podge mess of a schedule. Remember, one of my resolutions was BALANCE and a will to say NO? I haven't taken on anything new - and have no plans to do so, but the things that I was already committed to have revved back up and I'm having a hard time keeping my head above water. Yes, I realize I do this to myself, but I'm a work in progress. I'm still learning....
Overextended. Ever feel like you're being pulled in so many directions that you don't even know where you are? That has certainly been me this week. I've been trying to play catch up from the week off of snow. Work is a little more demanding. I've been bringing home a lot of work (which I'm grateful for). But, since I am the only one working for him now - if I don't do it, it doesn't get done. I feel a lot of pressure in that regards. On top of my "day job", I have a paid choreography gig. It doesn't seem to be coming together as I'd hoped and is taking a bit longer to get through. Again, feeling pressure to please and there's a time line pushing me. I think just having a creative type job adds another level of pressure. Additionally, there is a volunteer choreography gig I committed to some time ago that starts tomorrow. It should be a lot of fun, but is another sacrifice of time. Thankfully, Audrey is involved, so it is something we can do together.
Blessed. Through all the chaos, I do not lose sight of the blessings. I love my family so much! My girls are amazing - and so is that wonderful man I married. ;) I have been greatly blessed with some wonderful new friendships. God is so good! He has surrounded me with some amazing people and I can't wait to see what He has in store!
Frumpy. Gotta balance the good with the bad.... I've got that old frumpy feeling back. I really, truly want to get back to working out again. I miss it. My body misses it. My clothes are tight. I feel sluggish. I don't like looking in the mirror. My second chin is back. Stinks!
Excited. I guess this really goes hand in hand with the Blessed. God has temporarily opened a door for me to fill in with an incredible vocal group - which has resulted in some beautiful friendships. I absolutely love singing with these talented ladies and am completely honored to be a part of it, even if only for a short time.
Loved. I am loved. My children love me. My husband loves me. Even when I mess up. When I can't balance everything. When the dishes aren't done, laundry is piled up, and floors are gross. I am still loved. My heavenly father loves me unconditionally. Through all things, I am loved.
Refreshed. Amazing what a new haircut will do for a girl! Such a refreshing feeling. Kinda reminds me of a new year. A new start. Does that sound silly? I love the excitement of starting something new. We've started a new study on Sunday nights about the Attributes of God. And, we're 4 lessons into our Revelation study with Beth Moore. I'm also reading through the Bible. I feel this excitement and joy that I haven't felt in a long time. I just can't get enough! I'm learning things and seeing things in a light. It's exciting and I can't wait to share all that God reveals in the days to come.
Project Life Week 3
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| 1/11 - We were snowed in without girls, so we started a big cleaning/purging/organizing project. These were a few of the containers I emptied out! |
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| 1/12 - A rare occurrence in Atlanta - shoveling ICE! Derek got a great work out. |
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| 1/13 - Audrey's art work and our snow day craft - cute decorated clothespins. =) |
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| 1/13 - More snow day crafts - we all loved the Mod Podge! |
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| 1/14 - Has mommy been taking a lot of pictures lately? Maddie found the old camera and is helping with our Project Life 365! |
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| 1/15 - Real life - mounds of laundry! |
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| 1/16 - After Audrey's first (and possibly last) guitar lesson. =) |
Painstakingly Shy
Ok, friends, I need some advice. My 5 1/2 year old is so incredibly shy that it's almost crippling. I honestly don't know if something needs to be done or if I should just let it go and let her be. We've always dealt with it as best as we knew how and thought she might grow out of it. She won't speak or even look at people some times. It's usually an ordeal each week when we take her to Sunday School (because there isn't a permanent teacher, so parents rotate teaching). She has a hard time adjusting to change. She even has issues with people she knows if she doesn't see them on a consistent basis.
I took her to her very first guitar lesson tonight, thinking she might prefer one one on interaction (since she doesn't seem to care for group activities). She's also been asking to learn to play the guitar - and Santa brought her one for Christmas. Anyway, she would not speak to her teacher the entire class. She spent a third of it in tears not wanting to even look at him. She's always had a hard time talking to people - kids, too, not just adults. I'm glad that she's cautious and doesn't talk to total strangers, but at what point is it disrespectful?! She won't answer when spoken to or anything. But, what can I do? Seriously, I can't pull the words out of her mouth!
I thought we made some progress - and in some regards we have. There was a time she would rather go without than have to ask someone for it. So, one day at McDonald's she asked a person for more barbecue sauce and we were thrilled. That was a huge deal! We've had several more instances like that in recent months, but deals like today make me feel like we've taken a big step back.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!
I took her to her very first guitar lesson tonight, thinking she might prefer one one on interaction (since she doesn't seem to care for group activities). She's also been asking to learn to play the guitar - and Santa brought her one for Christmas. Anyway, she would not speak to her teacher the entire class. She spent a third of it in tears not wanting to even look at him. She's always had a hard time talking to people - kids, too, not just adults. I'm glad that she's cautious and doesn't talk to total strangers, but at what point is it disrespectful?! She won't answer when spoken to or anything. But, what can I do? Seriously, I can't pull the words out of her mouth!
I thought we made some progress - and in some regards we have. There was a time she would rather go without than have to ask someone for it. So, one day at McDonald's she asked a person for more barbecue sauce and we were thrilled. That was a huge deal! We've had several more instances like that in recent months, but deals like today make me feel like we've taken a big step back.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!
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About Me
- Kim
- Welcome to my little spot on the web. My name is Kim. I'm a mom of 2 precious girls - Audrey, 11 & Maddie, 8 1/2. I'm married to a fantastic man who I often refer to as "my walking encyclopedia". I love musical theater, singing, crafts with my kiddos, games, and colorguard. This blog is my outlet to share my journey through life. Hope you enjoy the ride with me! Please feel free to FOLLOW ME on this journey! =)
Me and my Sweet Girls
Maddie, 7 & Audrey, 9 1/2
My Wonderful Husband
May 7, 2004
